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tiarnan

5/25/2017

4 Comments

 
​I was so excited because it was my friend’s birthday party. When we arrived I saw a huge bouncy castle in the back garden. We were a bit early so we went on before anyone arrived. Our friend’s came and we played for a bit. Then, it was time for dinner so we all sat down at the dining room table We were eating and suddenly a pair of hands covered in newspaper grabbed my burger. Everyone was terrified and rushed out the door and went home. What a terrible birthday party.

By Tiarnan :)
4 Comments
Kacey
5/25/2017 09:48:16 am

Well Done Great Job
I really liked the way you based your story.
I really liked the heading.
Maybe more Sentence openers

Kind regards
Kacry

Reply
Daragh
5/25/2017 10:55:05 am

Very good story with good adjectives and plot.

Reply
Kallum
5/25/2017 01:22:05 pm

Tiarnan your story this week was very good well done. You put very good adjectives in your story. That was scary that hands covered in newspaper apprared out of nowhere Kallum Mrs. Boyce's class.

Reply
Jay
5/25/2017 11:35:19 pm

Great story T.
Star: great adjectives
Star: very good grammar
Wish: ??
?: did you get a peace of cake.

Reply



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