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jidenna

5/25/2017

1 Comment

 
​                               Mmm… Cheeseburger

I was going to the Eddie Rockets on a Friday night and I decided to try something different. So when I got there I sat down meeting with my mates. The waiter came to order and we said what we wanted I wanted a cheeseburger obviously, so we kept on joking around and messing when a girl walked into the diner and one of my friends went off. So we were messing around when I felt a sudden rumble in my stomach I just realised we hadn’t got our food and we have been here for 2 hours. And worst of all
They kicked us out for causing a public nuisance what a bad day.
By Jidenna
1 Comment
Ellen P
5/26/2017 05:37:14 am

Hi Jide
Well done on your BRILLIANT! story this week

*I really liked your punctuation and your grammar was excelent.
Wish-No wish
*I really liked your adjectives they were really good and your verbs were outstanding!
Link- Your story reminded mne of when I used to go to Eddie Rockets with my family.
*I really liked the way your story had a bad ending and this is becuase alot of story have a happ ending but you to a different approach with your story and I really liked it.
Will you go home/find some where else to eat?

Over all your stroy was great and I really enjoyed reading it and I hope to read more of your brilliant stories in the future, keep up the great work.
-Ellen P

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