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kacey

1/10/2017

8 Comments

 
​LOST

While walking through the forest I came upon a small gap in the hedges. I climbed through and found myself in a giant maze. As I walked around the maze I started to hear growls, I was sure I saw a set of eyes looking through the hedge at me. I ran as fast as my legs would carry me. I looked back to see if it was still chasing me, I tripped over a rock and cut my knee. I struggled to gain my balance, eventually I got up. I looked in front and behind, which way?
HELP!

By Kacey.
8 Comments
Hannah Lu
1/10/2017 08:48:33 am

Brilliant story Kacey.
I really liked how u described everything.
Maybe add in a few more sentence openers next time.
Besides that you have great punctuation and it was a well written story!

Reply
Daragh
1/10/2017 08:50:26 am

Very good story Kacey, good punctuation

Reply
Sophie G
1/10/2017 08:52:23 am

Well done, really great story.
Star: Good punctuation.
Star: Great use of adjectives.
Wish: Remember to put a comma after a sentence opener.
Star: Great idea.
Star: Very creative and original.
Keep it up.
Sophie G

Reply
Aoife M
1/11/2017 08:26:01 am

Hi Kacey,
**Great adjectives
** great storyline
Wish: don't have one.

Reply
Emily
1/11/2017 09:39:44 am

Hey Kacey, great story.
Star: great storyline,
Wish: noting.

Reply
Jack link
1/11/2017 09:46:06 am

Hi Kacey.
Thank you for your comment on my story.
I think that your story was fantastic. Great use of vocabulary. I liked the simile you used as well, "I ran as fast as my legs would carry me." A simile is always very effective.
Well done again.
Jack, Mrs. Boyce's Class, Cork.

Reply
Aoife
1/12/2017 08:38:48 am

Star:great ending,
Star:good cliffhanger
NO WISH

Reply
Robert
1/12/2017 12:19:40 pm

Hi Kacey.
I liked really your story.
Was there a maze on a tree?
Keep up the good work.
~MRS BOYCES CLASS

Reply



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